Should We Fight or Should We Talk?

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For many people, the title states the choices they see when they approach a divorce (or a divorce approaches them!). You might as well recognize that talking is the better option.  Here’s why. No matter how angry someone is at the beginning of a divorce, the parties almost always end up talking and reaching a settlement.  In some cases, though, …

What if You Don’t Like the Judge’s Ruling?

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When you turn your case over to a Judge for a ruling, there’s about a 50-50 chance that you will be disappointed or upset by the result.  No matter how right you believe you are, the Judge may see things differently and rule against you.  After years of experience, I think I’m pretty realistic, but I still get surprised when …

Tuesday Tips: No Fooling!

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If you are facing going to court for a divorce or other Family Law matter, you need to be aware that most everything is taken seriously in the court system. Here are some things to remember that are Not Joking Matters! 1.  Notice of Hearing:  When you get a notice of a hearing, that’s a real obligation.  You and your …

Want An Amicable Divorce?

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The stereotype of divorce is a bitter fight between former lovers who now hate each other.  That is an image that often shows up in movies.  While that is what happens sometimes, a more common situation is two parties who have grown apart or who are tired of fighting, whether it’s over almost everything or over just a few issues. …

How to Prepare for a Peaceful Divorce

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Often, people become hurt and angry when it becomes clear they are facing a divorce.  In most cases, the divorce should not be a surprise, but sometimes it is.  While some people can overcome their anger at the situation and their spouse, others can’t.  Attorneys will tell the parties that if one person wants the divorce, it will happen eventually.  …

What Does it Take to Finish?

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A couple of days ago, I got a call from a woman who was upset because her divorce was taking a long time to finish.  She had an attorney (not me), but was thinking about changing because the divorce wasn’t finished up. She thought by now, it should be over. I found out that she had filed, temporary orders had …

What’s My Worst Possible Outcome?

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In almost every attorney-client relationship, there needs to be more and better communication. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), attorneys can’t read their clients’ minds.  We can sometimes anticipate questions, but we can’t always provide reassurance and information without being asked questions. At some point in almost every case, a client will wonder what the worst outcome could be for their case.  …

How to Encourage Fighting in Litigation

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Let me be clear.  I think it is a really bad idea to encourage fighting in litigation.  Still, there are many attorneys who do just that.  Sometimes, it’s because that’s what the attorneys think their clients want.  Other times, it’s because that’s how the attorney was trained.  Some attorneys believe that fighting it out in court will lead to the …

What If You Don’t Really Want a Divorce?

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Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two to have a marriage.  If one person wants out of a marriage, the other one can’t really prevent a divorce.  Both parties have to be committed to keep a marriage together.  It often happens that one spouse decides to seek a divorce before the other spouse is even aware of …

You Can Both “Win”

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Or, why it’s OK for your spouse to come out of the divorce in good shape, too. For many different reasons (competitiveness, anger, revenge, control or mental illness, among others) parties going through a divorce often feel like they have to “win”.  But, as Charlie Sheen showed us, “winning” isn’t everything.  In fact, in divorce, the drive to win can …