1. Focus on the kids first, not the parents. Try to keep the children’s lives has unchanged as possible, keeping in mind that their needs will constantly evolve as they age. Mainly, don’t think in “ownership” terms about “my time” or “my children”. Put the focus on what the children need or want and how they can best be attended to. Don’t make it a control fight between parents.
2. Add structure. Sometimes locking down schedules and responsibilities takes away the need or opportunity to pick fights between parents. If everything is clearly defined in court orders, that should help avoid or minimize the conflict.
3. Model good behavior. In the long run, the children will benefit if at least one parent models good behavior. Hopefully, the other parent will start to follow suit. If not, keep a stiff upper lip and be the better person. It’s good for the kids.
4. Practice good communication with the other parent. Don’t be argumentative. Don’t make derogatory comments about the other parent. Stick to the facts. Don’t worry about blame. If there are problems, just fix them. Be on time and be polite.
5. Take a class on co-parenting. Many courts require such a class. It’s best to take a class in person (your attorney can help you find a good one), but you can also take one on line. It would be great for both parents to take the same class, but it’s still good if just one takes the class. And, as is true in many other matters, refresher classes in the future would be helpful also!
Regardless of how well you get along with the other parent, hopefully you can find some common ground around the children and learn to work together. Good luck!